woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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