I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
