I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Damn victory sex feels great
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
