ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
how do flat chested girls get laid?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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