u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
