you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
