I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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