I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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