that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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