just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
