I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
