he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
