i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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