was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize