You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
wanna go halves on a baby?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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