Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize