discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
