Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
