This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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