The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
