Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
