your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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