i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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