I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
