Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
