I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
