i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
