I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
third nipple confirmed
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
