I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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