i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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