we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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