I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
