I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
