K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
