Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
