Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
