Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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