Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
