you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
