i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
