So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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