the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
