the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
