Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
