Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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