just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize