Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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