I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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