jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
