For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize