yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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