And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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