okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
