so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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