I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
