I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
