What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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