I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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