so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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